Tuesday, September 15, 2009


What Single Women Should Remember

Ariana Forsythe, the heroine in my first two books, (Before the Season Ends, and, The House in Grosvenor Square) is not the typical regency miss when it comes to the "marriage mart"; Why? Because she is not satisfied to look for a husband who is merely wealthy or titled, attractive or agreeable. Instead, like the authentic young woman of faith that she is, she bases her discrimination of "husband material" on 2 Cor. 6:14.
"Do not be bound together with unbelievers."

This one thing sets her apart from the vast majority of single women, not only then, during the regency, but today.

In the first book, the above verse is recalled numerous times, but I had no opportunity to really delve into the reasoning behind it, the reasons why God instructs his people to be separate, to marry only fellow believers. It is not prejudice, or whim; it is not because God wants to make life difficult for his people: No! Quite the contrary. Note the following reasons, all of which are given in the context of that injunction: Why should Christians only marry fellow Christians?
  • Partnership "For what partnership have righeousness and lawlessness?" (2Cor.6:14b)
  • Fellowship "Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (Ibid)
  • Harmony "Or what harmony has Christ with Belial? (2Cor.6:15a)
  • Commonality "Or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?" (2Cor.6:15b)
  • Agreement "Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God." (2Cor.6:16)

Wow. Read those words again: Partnership, fellowship, harmony, commonality, and agreement. I don't know about you, but I certainly wouldn't want to enter a marriage that was lacking in any of these areas FROM THE GET GO. In other words, before you even have a chance to disagree on something, you are in disagreement. You are coming from opposite camps, as it were, and the degree of partnership is forever limited, forever handicapped, if your spirits are not both in the Lord.

Christian, you are a temple of God. You have the enormous privilege of being called into the fold of the redeemed. There are many, many differences to face in marriage, differences of temperament, of habits, of viewpoints in many things. What a tragedy if all of the natural differences we bring to marriage are compounded by the irreconcilable difference of SPIRITS!
According to this passage, when a Chrisitan marries, they bring into that marriage the Holy Spirit in them (they are a temple of God); the unbeliever also has a spirit, but it does not contain God. (In fact, according to today's verse, it is the spirit of Belial.)

Some that will argue that the person they are dating is so nice, so "good," even if they are unbelievers, that they must be acceptable partners. However, unless they know Christ, according to GOD, there can be no real partnership. Do you chafe against this? Do you yearn for marriage apart from God's revealed will (the Word)?

Trust him, my sister. He will bring the right mate for you in His time.
Trust!

3 comments:

Stina Rose said...

Thank you for this wonderful post. I completely agree with you. I managed to make it all the way through high school and college without a single date. My brother constantly told me I was too picky. The truth is, I was waiting for a man that was just what God wanted me to have. I had been praying for this man since I was eight years old, and I finally found him almost twenty years later. God is so good! I'm glad that I didn't lower my standards just to be with someone, because in God's time I found the perfect man for me.

Teri's Christian Commentary said...

Excellent post. I didn't do this the first time around and my marriage ended in a divorce after 7years. Next time, this will be the guideline I follow. For now, I'm loving life as a single.

Linore said...

Stina,
What a beautiful story! I admire you for your perseverance and vision and FAITH. Thanks so much for sharing and I pray many blessings on your marriage! Having God in the relationship from the beginning makes such a difference. Bless you!

And Teri, I'm glad you are happy right now and will use God's wisdom for now on in your life. Many, many blessings upon you!It was kind of you to share.